Office of the Gods
Episode One - A New Batch
This is an idea I had a while back. If you like it, I can write more.
Freya looked over the room, which served as the foyer for Polytheon Unlimited. The new batch of what many thought of as deities, supreme beings, or perhaps demigods were the oddest she’d seen in the time she’d been part of the Aeternal Resources Department. In her time most of them had been humanoid, but lately they were recruiting from a broader range of realities and going farther afield to the new universes in the ones they were traditionally part of. It was all in an effort to keep the coffers full. Gods didn’t live by ambrosia alone, but by the belief of their supplicants.
“Welcome one and all, to Polytheon. This will be your new home away from home and we hope that you’ll be able to take advantage of our resources and see the fruit of cooperation. If you’re here, it’s because you see the positives of not having to maintain your own space in the multiverse. You believe, as I do, that we’re not in competition for worship, and that there’s no sense in reinventing the altar.” She didn't love giving the Tour, but it was her turn and it was only once a millennium.
There were murmurs of assent that, to human ears, would have sounded more like someone jamming a boot in the mud while a chorus of cats made love in the distance. Here language didn’t matter as much. All speech was automagically translated and, given the rules here, all could survive and thrive while being unable to leverage the full extent of their powers. It was an excellent bit of neutral territory.
A flippered hand reached into the air.
“Yes, Tsathoggua, is it?” She gestured to the toad-bodied creature.
It nodded. “What’s the Wi-fi password?”
Freya sighed. “That’s in your packet, which you’ve received prior to your arrival. You did read your packet didn’t you?”
Bulbous eyes shifted back and forth. “I glanced at it. I must have left it. Sorry.”
A tentacle slithered around what passed for Tsathoggua’s neck. “I will type it into your tome.”
“Thanks, Yog.” It glanced over its shoulder hump.
“That settled, I’ll show you around a bit more. If anyone else needs a new packet, let me know.” Freya turned so those who followed couldn’t see the eye roll. After collecting a few new packets from the mailroom, she escorted her charges into the most popular space on these tours. "This is the breakroom." Freya swept her hand around the well-appointed area. Lush couches that could handle a variety of body forms were scattered about.
"SHE APPROVES OF THIS." The chorus of voices came from somewhere under the robes of a humanoid standing near the center of the pack.
"That's... good." Great, This was one of those pretentious New Aeternals. Freya longed for the old days when the most likely non-standard pronoun you would get would be the royal we, "We clean out the fridge every leap year. Keeps things fresh. Don't touch the Ambrosia. Aphrodite is a real bitch about it."
"SHE DOES NOT EAT ANYTHING BUT LIGHT AND THE OCCASIONAL SOUL."
"Oh, this is a soul-free zone. Some of us have allergies. You can keep your souls in your cubby if you need a snack. What was your name again?"
The unpronounceable series of screeches that followed threatened to make even Freya's ears bleed. "BUT YOU MAY CALL HER SUSAN."
"Great, great.” Freya looked over her charges. “Now let’s go to the cubicles, shall we?” She led them through the halls over faded carpet. Plans supplied by Daedalus shaped the building and as such was a bit of a maze. It did make good use of space though. “You’re all going to be in the Orichalcum section so please follow this line, and it will take you to your assigned area.” She pointed to the shimmering silvery-gold arrow on the floor. “Once you get used to it, you should be able to find your way around.”
“Just fold space and arrive quicker.” The grumbled suggestion came from near the rear of the pack from a familiar sounding person. “I don’t recommend that or trying to use any magic within our environs.” Freya came up on her tiptoes. “Coyote, is that you?” She couldn’t see the aged shapeshifter. Or maybe she could. Hard to tell. “In any regard, please walk or fly between areas.”
Soon they were in a space housing an untold number of cubicles. Their gray walls stretched up and disappeared into the mist-shrouded ceiling. A single lantern hung outside each cube’s entrance, each as black as midnight. “When your aspect is present, the lamps light automatically. No one can enter your cubicle without permission or the proper badge. IT and AR can inspect or work in them without notice, but we respect your privacy. Are there any questions?”
No one raised a single appendage.
“Good. Well, once you get settled in, I'll make sure IT comes by to ensure you're getting your e-prayers. If you have any questions, let me know. That's what Aeternal Resources is here for after all."
The new residents each went their separate ways and soon Freya stood alone with her thoughts. She was open to the idea of the grand experiment. Zeus knew, if they were to continue to exist they would need to work together, despite their differences. Up until now, the few score of residents they had all got along well enough, but there was a history. These new beings brought a lot of unpredictability to the table.
She raised her eyes and hands to the ceiling, knowing someone was watching, even if it was only Security. “In your hands and on your heads be it.” She turned and headed for her office. She had a few e-prayers to catch up on and then there was the literally never-ending paperwork.
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